The look on her face was one of terror and bewilderment as she told me how unbearable it would be to find out she’s sick and to know that it would be all her fault for not having caught it sooner. I remember as a child asking my mom what she was always so afraid of, and she said that she was afraid that she would be sick, and that it would be her fault for not being vigilant about watching for signs and symptoms. What’s worse, it feels like you alone are responsible for carrying out this mission. Instead you feel driven to escape what could be a potential death sentence or avert some other tragic misfortune. Living with Health Anxiety OCD can feel like you are living on borrowed time, which makes it nearly impossible to enjoy anything. This being said, the content of all OCD sufferers’ obsessive thoughts always feels and seems important, and this sense of urgency about it distracts from recognizing the process problem. These failed efforts to be certain about one’s health ultimately lead to feeling less certain and more afraid. Specifically, the problem is believing that you have to do compulsions in the effort to obtain certainty your fear is untrue. The fact is, one can be sick and have Health Anxiety OCD.Īs with all content areas of OCD, the real problem is not the content of the obsession, but the process of how you relate to and respond to it. Some of the confusion arises from failing to understand that the diagnosis refers to a person that is chronically anxious about their health, not about whether they are actually sick or not. Regardless of whether we call it Health Anxiety OCD, Hypochondriasis, Illness Anxiety Disorder, or Somatic Symptom Disorder, this content area is often misunderstood both in the medical profession and the mental health field. Regardless of the form OCD takes, OCD is the dictator who declares the lengths that must be followed to obtain 100 percent certainty and just as you begin to think you’ve appeased him… the dictator changes the rules. Those with Health Anxiety OCD may worry that unidentified or untreated illness will rob them of a fulfilling life, but then they miss out on enjoying the life they always dreamed about having by devoting all their attention to trying to be sure they are not ill. Those with Pedophile OCD may give up being a parent so there is no chance they will molest their child, but then they live a life not feeling safe around children. Those with Harm OCD may fear being rejected after hurting someone, but then they isolate themselves from their families. In other words, it makes you become what you fear, just not in the way you’d expect. One of the things I find most heartbreaking about working with some of my OCD clients is that the disorder has ripped from them that which they treasure most and in turn engendered the very life they fear. Currently you may only know the suffering associated with Health Anxiety OCD, but through the right treatment, there is hope of learning to appreciate the way your mind works.
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